Through a dietary experience, I learned an important lesson on the difference between encouragement and persuasion. One of our daughters had referred us to a nutritionist that had helped her dramatically when no medical doctor could find the cause of her severe pain. I decided to take Shon to that...

In our early years of marriage, Tom and I had many dreams that we were excited to discuss, and some of them turned into big adventures, such as our decision to move from Long Beach, CA to a small town of about 250 people in up-state N.Y. just to experience something very different. We lived there...

The Bible tells us to be "...quick to listen and slow to speak..." (James 1:19).   In an excellent sermon I once heard, the pastor said we can know what's in our heart by what comes out of our mouth. Jesus also said that, of course, but it really struck a chord with me at that moment. Ever...

I once received a good reminder through my son: don't compare one person to another.   Shon was frustrated as he was working on the skill of being able to get from his bed into his wheelchair, and from his wheelchair to his bed independently. In an attempt to encourage him, I made the mistake...

By nature, I'm a problem solver. This can be good, but it can also be a hindrance, at times. I'm learning that its best to guide a person toward discovering their own solutions to their problems instead of offering my solutions.   In the past, when someone complained to me about their...

The Lord has been teaching me not to give unsolicited advice or help, but I recently gained a deeper insight into this from something I read in The Feeling Good Handbook by David D. Burns, M.D. He gave three questions for us to ask ourselves when we want to help someone. One of those is: Is the...

What is the difference between helping and mothering when interacting with mentally competent adults?   Mothering is either giving unsolicited advice or insulting their intelligence by stating the obvious. Having spent years raising children and telling them what to do or not do, I have found...

I was once reminded of something I should know, since I'm basically shy myself. Namely, try to invite the less talkative people into conversations.   Generally speaking, I'm fairly quiet. The exception to that is when I'm discussing something I'm excited about. In those moments, I sometimes...

It is good to ask what people mean when something is unclear, instead of guessing or assuming we know. In Leviticus 11:17-20, Moses was upset with his brother Aaron, thinking he had sinned, but he was wise enough to go directly to Aaron and ask why he had acted that way. When he heard Aaron's...

I had once been praying that Tom and another person would keep their commitment to get together. One morning, Tom told me that he was getting together with that person. What I should have said is something like, "Great! Have a good time." What I did say was, "Ok. I was wondering if you were going...