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When to Keep It Light

Men grow close by doing activities together. Over time, these common experiences and mutual interests result in a sense of bonding. There is little negativity and few complaints. Conversation is light hearted. I have had to learn how to enter into this aspect of a man's world. I tend to be a...

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Pray About Your Counsel

It is important not to give unsolicited advice to adults. It is also important to be careful about the counsel we give even when someone does ask for our opinion.   I was reading about Charles Wesley's hymn, "Jesus, Lover of My Soul." (101 Hymn Stories by Kenneth W. Osbeck) This particular...

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Does It Benefit Them?

Years ago, I had Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) posted above my kitchen sink: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (The italics are mine.)   I continue to learn that...

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A Gentle and Quiet Spirit

God continues to fine-tune me in the areas of humility and faith, as I see more instances in my life where those come into play. I'm going to share a failure on my part, and what I learned from it. A situation was brought to my attention about a conflict between two people, and Tom and I were...

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Timing Is Essential

Part of being sensitive to another person's feelings is knowing when to speak, what to say, and when to keep quiet. This requires prayerful discernment.   In 1992, a woman I highly respected wanted to share some insights with me about a difficult decision my husband and I were facing. I had a...

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Avoiding Gossip

Jesus was a master at avoiding gossip (malicious talk). We can learn from his example. Once Jesus' disciples found him talking to a Samaritan woman. "Just then his disciples returned and were surprised to find him talking with a woman. But no one asked, 'What do you want?' or 'Why are you talking...

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Blessing in Unity

Both the Bible and life experience teach us that there is blessing in unity. Therefore, my husband Tom and I continue to work on this aspect of our marriage.   We are trying to be more conscientious about discussing things before making decisions or commitments that affect both of us and...

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Communication: God’s Role and My Role

God continues to teach and remind me of things, such as what's God's role and what's my role in communication. My role is to encourage, clarify, and present. God's role is to persuade and motivate.   When I am humbly in the Spirit, my role in communication will be to encourage, clarify, and...

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Transparency Requires Trust and Respect

The Lord frequently reminds me that transparency in a relationship requires mutual trust and respect. We have to trust that the person will respond to what we share with respect, even if they don't agree with us. We aren't likely to open up to someone if we fear that they'll laugh at, or ignore,...

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Honor Your Spouse With Your Words

The Bible says, "...out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." (Luke 6:45, NIV) If we want to know what's in our hearts, listen to what comes out of our mouths. When we don't like what we hear, we need to confess to the Lord and ask for His help in changing the attitude of our heart. We...

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